Symptom 76: A Cartoonist And A Conspiracy Theorist Walk Into A Board Room

Well, usually we try to review stuff fans have heard of, or have some redeeming value, or are not a complete waste of a human beings time, or are marginally competent film or tv. This week however, we review Roswell Conspiracies, perhaps the worst thing ever created. 

It is a cartoon that in theory is about a secret alliance that protects Earth from Aliens and keeps humanity from knowing the danger it is in. It also has a division that uses the media to misdirect citizens toward fake conspiracies an UFO activity, so they don't find the real aliens. Pretty hard to mess up. In reality, this cartoon is what happens when writers think they are smart, but are not. It is what happens when the network that carries it has Street Sharks as its flagship program. It is what happens when anything that can reach a 22 minute run time, even if its filled with sexism and possible unintentional racism, gets aired because slots have to be filled. 

This week we review the worst piece of TV ever, Roswell Conspiracies. 

Symptom 75: Cowabunga Dude! Lets Kick Some Fin

Sci-Fi Saturday month continues as we discuss the greatest cartoon of a generation - TMNT, and an abomination that never should have got beyond a pitch - Street Sharks. 

TMNT - the beloved greatest cartoon of my generation - doesn't quite hold up the same way Ghostbusters or Gargoyles does. And it doesn't matter. TMNT was a cartoon designed to sell toys to kids and entertain them and it has done that for the last 30 years. It may be the most long-lived and successful children cartoon ever. If the story telling doesn't hold up when I watch it as an adult - who cares, it was not supposed to. I still can enjoy a re-watch for nostalgia. 

Street Sharks - well, Ragemaster suggests you watch it. I say - don't waste the 22 minutes, or the the five. You will never get them back and you could be doing something much better, like watching grass grow or paint dry, or giving yourself a root canal without novocain. 

Symptom 74: Back to C137

Let the Ricksanity begin. Grab your portal gun because this week its Rick and Morty.  This show is a perfect example of the fun, mind bending and meaningful story telling that can happen when soft sic-fi is combined with animation and a 22 minute run time. 

Yes, the show goes after the low hanging comedic fruit. Yes, the animation is bad. Who cares. The story telling is solid, the comedy is excellent, the characters grow and the soft science fiction format allows mind bleepery such as multiple dimensions, the council of Rick's, infinite Rick's, since the science functions as magic anything is on the table. 

We wrap up this show with a discussion of the time that elapses between seasons and our hopes/fears for the future of this series. 

Symptom 73: When Disney Pulled A Riker's Beard

Back in the mid 90's Disney did something it would probably never do today, it released a kids cartoon with dark story telling themes, heavily pulled from Shakespeare, that was geared toward older teens and adults. The result was amazing. It was, Gargoyles.  

Gargoyles was a smartly written cartoon run by writers who were able to exercise creative control and tell the story they wanted to tell. The combination of great writing, a 22 minute run time and 1st rate voice acting was a show that simply gets better as time goes by. 

We will discuss the awakening episodes that started the series, the two gathering episodes and the one where Puck makes Goliath believe he has travelled to a dystopian future to steal the Phoenix Gate. 

***We had a guest in studio today, one of the members had to bring their son along, so you may hear some great random drop in's by our fifth man in the room this week***

This weeks episode brought to you by Garks! a fictional product that does not actually exist. I'd say you can order them now, but since we haven't produced any yet, the cost might run 5 figures per action figure.  More if you'd like the special run figures that have real rocket pack action, and who doesn't want a shark/gargoyle superhero with a rocket pack? Operators are not standing by now to take your order. 

Symptom 72: I Know Who I'm Gonna Call

We kick off Sci-Fi Saturday Mornings month with our review of The Real Ghostbusters - Scott's first favorite TV show and probably still my second favorite show ever. This cartoon amazingly holds up more than 30 years later and maybe its just my inner nerd child, but it is still enjoyable to watch as an adult of 37.  We break down three of our favorite episodes, the Boogey Man Cometh, Mr Sandman Dream Me A Dream and When Halloween Was Forever. We also get a visit from Dork Henderson for a few minutes. He just won't leave my house.  We even try to have a Scott's deep meaning segment and the Ragemaster does his thing and points out the flaws (although he admits it was a kids cartoon, so hey, it is allowed)

Next week - Gargoyles 

Symptom 71: Wearing Our Review On Our Sleeve

We conclude May with a review of the Netflix original series Altered Carbon and there is a lot to get to in this one. There are so many things to discuss that we did not even get to them all. In the Altered Carbon future humanity has become immortal, God is dead (too some) and humanity has become it's own gods. Morality has collapsed, the divide between the rich and the poor is wider than ever, and our protagonist is trying to come to terms with his failure and the death of the love of his life. This series has everything a sci-fi series is supposed to, but as good as it is, it is not perfect. 

Symptom 70: Lost In Drama

Danger Will Robinson! 

This week we take on the Netflix reboot of the classic sci-fi franchise Lost In Space. Opinions are mixed as the reboot is a mixed bag of success and failures. The show manages to be fun, entertaining and dramatic, while trying to discuss important ideas. The problem is that the show often discusses these big ideas in a philosophy 101 sort of way. The series also suffers from an overuse of dues ex machina and thing happens because plot needs it to happen writing. It also appears that the series should have been a 12 to 14 episode run as the backstories are rushed and told entirely in brief flashback mode. Overall though, Lost In Space is fun and a decent effort at a putting  a new twist on a sci-fi classic, plus who doesn't want a robot best friend? 

Symptom 69: Ready Reviewer One

Modern May continues as we review both the book and film, Ready Player One. This is a fun filled nostalgia romp through 80's pop and nerd culture. And while no one will be bored by this movie ultimately it ends at being an enjoyable nostalgia trip, high level fan fiction. The messages are basic (resource scarcity, dangers of overpopulation, corporations are evil) the female characters, at least in the book, exist only as love interests of the male lead, in the movie Artemis is slightly better written but still falls short of modern day expectations. All of that said this movie/book hits the spot for aging 30 somethings that want to look back fondly on their younger years. We also discuss the controversies with the book as some see it as transphobic and many see the character Artemis as existing solely as conquest for Wade. We feel the later may have some justification but do not agree with the former that the movie is transphobic. 

Next week - the lost in Space reboot. 

Symptom 68: There Goes The MCU

I apologize for the audio quality this week. While it is listenable, we all sound like we are in a tin can. I purchased a new audio interface and well, apply live voice processing to four separate audio chains is bad, because of bleed over from mic to mic. The result is we sound echoey this week. I apologize and promise that future audio will sound better as we continue to update our equipment and software and as I of course, learn how to actually edit. 

So, Avengers Infinity War has finally arrived and it was epic. Thanos is one of the greatest movie villains ever, with some depth of character and motivation. The movie manages to successfully integrate the multitude of heroes and storylines that have developing over decades into a mostly cohesive narrative and most importantly - you just have fun watching this film. 

That isn't to say the film does not have problems. How does Thanos realistically get defeated now - even with a damaged gauntlet? If the heroes are just going to ultimately use the infinity stones to undo all Thanos did does that cheapen the impact of the "deaths" in this film? 

Maybe - if Marvel does it wrong in part two however at this point Marvel has earned our faith that they will conclude this movie correctly, with a realistic defeat of Thanos and a restoration of the MCU in a manner does not diminish Infinity Wars part one. 

Symptom 67: We're Here To Review A Movie And Chew Bubblegum, And We're All Out Of Bubblegum

We end Sci-Fi Fondu month with the John Carpenter's classic They Live. What's better that Roddy Piper and Keith David shooting 1950's aliens, that you can only see are aliens if you are wearing cheap sunglasses with shotguns and rifles? Nothing. Nothing is better. This movie has Roddy Piper giving wrestling promos in a grocery store, amazing one liners and deep social commentary on corporate greed, Reganomics the power of the media and our own willingness to play by "their rules" in the hope for a slightly better life. 

Put your sunglasses on, obey, consume, do not question authority, stay asleep and listen to Symptom 67. 

The link to the article on class mobility discussed on the show is below:

https://www.economist.com/blogs/graphicdetail/2018/02/daily-chart-9

Symptom 66: Keep On Running

Sci-Fi fondu month gets an extra dose of cheese thanks to a request from listener Josh. This week we discuss The Running Man. Its got Arnold, Jesse Ventura and Richard Dawson - the real question is how did we not have this one in the rotation anyway. The cheese starts early and never stops and seriously, what in the world is Jesse Ventura's battle gear in this movie? 

Somewhere in this movie is an excellent discussion of the power of the media to control the people and the use of government propaganda. There is also a discussion of what happens when the mob turns against and how easy it is for the common person to strip away the humanity of a human and treat them without the dignity all humans should be accorded because they are guilty of a crime - but its buried under a major serving of gooey, melty cheese. 

Next week - They Live

Symptom 65: Keep Reaching For Competency JJ

Sic-Fondu month roll on as this week we tackle the Cloverfield series, specifically The Cloverfield Paradox. Now you might say that's not a cheesy movie it is just bad. Nope, it is cheesy, one of the character talks to his severed arm which is acting on its own. It is both bad and cheesy, not not mention largely poorly acted with plot holes and a storyline that stops making sense after 25 minutes.  This movie was originally known as the God Particle-wait, this movie was originally Event Horizon and the writers of the God Particle ripped off that great flick, but I digress. Originally this was a movie called the God Particle and we all think that this movie would have been better as the God Particle than with Cloverfield monsters rammed into it. 

Ragemaster Rips A Clip V

Once again The Ragemaster has found a rip worthy clip. This week his anger is directed at Ridley Scott in Prometheus and frankly, he is correct. The scene in question is absurd and anyone who has ever had abdominal surgery (me) will attest that no, you are not running anytime soon (weeks) after surgery. In fact, it might be days before you walk or even sit up straight in bed.  

With that, here is a healthy dose of rageohol with Ragemaster Rips a Clip V .

Symptom 64: Attack Of The Star Wars Clones

This week we review the worst movie ever made - StarCrash. Seriously it is not possible to make a worse acted, directed, written, filmed, edited or produced movie, even if you tried. The only saving grace of this movie is that actress who plays Stella Star is in a bikini half the movie. Discount Han Solo can't act, Stella Star can barely read her lines, there is a robot that is a cross between a old western sheriff and Colonel Sanders. Christopher Plummer does a lot of ACTING! and can't save the film and David Hasselhoff is at his absolute worst, so bad it should have killed his career. There is no plot, there is no point, the resolution of the story makes no sense and the special effects are horrible for 1982.  At one point the Imperial Battleship is commanded to halt the flow of time. Its so bad...its bad and somehow this piece of s$%^ took 18 months to make. 

Symptom 63: This Film Will Give You Joy Joy Feelings

We kick off Sci-Fi Fondu, our exploration of cheesy science fiction with 1993's Demolition Man, the pun and cliche filled romp staring Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, Sandra Bullock and Captain Ben Maxwell from Star Trek The Next Generation. Ok, you know him better as the warden in The Shawshank Redemption.

This movie is often dismissed as another 90's action film with terrible comedy writing that panders to the lowest common denominator.  Yes, it is all of those things, as well as awesome. The strange thing is that as this film ages the message beneath it seems to grow more and more relevant.  But, this month is about cheesy science fiction and not the deeper meaning, so while there is a deep message about a stratified society controlled by extremists and the dangers of trading freedom for safety, rest assured we know the only question on your mind - how do the three seashells work? Well, we have an answer or three for that. 

 

Sci-Fi Fondu Month

This month on Sci-Fi Malady we are discussing the cheesy, over the top, sometimes cringe worthy science fiction. We are taking a step back and remembering that sometimes science fiction can be funny and that while Science Fiction movies are no longer low budget B flicks, the roots of the genre sometimes still shine through. 

Episode 62: An Expanded Cluster F@&%

Xenomorph March concludes with a discussion of the Alien expanded universe, including the novels, graphic novels and all the films after Alien Ripley Has A Weird Scene With Her Alien Surrogate Baby - I mean Alien Resurrection. Fair warning - for the most part we are discussing where this franchise went wrong. With Corey it is coming from a place of love, the rest of us, not from a place of hate, except for Prometheus, but more from a place of, ok, these are average movies that just can't recapture the magic of the first two. 

Next week we kick of Cheesy Sci-Fi month with Demolition Man. Get your three seashells ready. 

Symptom 61: Ripping On Ripley

Xenomorph March is going strong and this week, well, this week we move on from the great entries in the Aliens franchise into the one that, well, make no sense whatsoever. 

Alien to the power of 3 - the one where Ripley crash lands on a prison planet full of sex offenders and murderers and proceeds to become an idiot. Also known as the one where absolutely none of the characters aside from Ripley are likable or redeemable in any way. 

Alien Resurrection - The thing that almost ended Joss Whedon's career? You know, the one where they cloned Ripley 200 years later from some old blood samples to bring back the Xenomorph's because she had a queen in her? Yeah, her blood had human and alien DNA in it and that means a clone of her clones the growing Xenomorp and dear god, ok, lets say I buy this, why did it take 200 years to figure this out and try it? Also, this movie as well has almost no redeemable characters. We have shady military people killing civilians to grow Xenomorphs in an effort to weaponize them and we have horrible space pirates willing to kidnap people in cryofreeze and deliver them to be experimented on by the shady military jerks. Aside from the android all these characters are hatable, even Ripley because Ripley 8 is clearly not Ellen Ripley but some weird, soulless echo of her combined with an alien queen. We also get whatever the newborn is and that uncomfortable bonding scene between it and its adoptive mother, Ripley 8. No, don't youtube it if you have never seen it or are lucky enough to have deleted the dramatic memory from your brain, I am considering therapy to deal with having seen it. 

So yeah, Xenomorph gets to Alien Cubed and Resurrection this week. I'd like to say better things are ahead but next week we tackle Prometheus, AVP, AVP Requiem and Covenant. So, yeah, joy. Ok, Covenant was good and the first half of Prometheus was amazing, and AVP was a fun action movie, so there is some good ahead next week and we did find some good in both of these turd sandwiches this week. Maybe its just comparing them to the masterpieces that came before in Alien and Aliens that make them seem so bad...and maybe, they just aren't that good either. 

Symptom 60: We're In The Pipe 5 by 5

Xenomorph March continues as we move onto James Cameron's masterpiece, Aliens. This movie introduces us to the Queen, furthers our knowledge of the Xenomorph species as well as the universe Aliens takes place in. We also meet the colonial marines and of course Hudson. While this movie is great without Hudson, Bill Paxton's character gave us all the most memorable lines, lines which became mired in our social lexicon. 

It is not often that we as a crew all agree we love a movie, we all love this movie. 

Next week - Alien 3 and Resurrection.